The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
