she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize
