The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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