We won't sleep together?
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Randomize
