saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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