Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
