Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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