is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
