Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
