i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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