turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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