chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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