So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
