just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
My day in three words: secret purse cake
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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