The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i out mim tonsoeep
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
