I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I'm passing your future prison.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
