he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
