The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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