I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
