you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Randomize
