Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
