I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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