why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
