I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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