Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I just want nice things and good sex
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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