Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
