I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
