there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
