Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
