What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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