Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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