I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
