she was so not down for the gang bang
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I'm too high and old for this...
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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