i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
