My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
