Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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