if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
