Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
