nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
