You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Randomize
