we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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