this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Randomize
