is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
