So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
