at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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