I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
It was a blind-side dick pic.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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