Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I wish i was in the wii world.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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