you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
If it wasnt for meatballs I would have fucking killed myself already.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
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