both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
