my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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