I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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