the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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