I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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