they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
So much Jack, so little girl.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize
