I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
